I'm getting married next week. I'm marrying my girlfriend of 3 years. We are getting married just because. She's marrying me coz I'm her first love. I'm marrying her because of responsibility.
There was someone else before her. Someone that made my heart skip a beat. Someone that made me do crazy things. Someone that I texted at 3am to wish her sweet dreams all because I really wished she's have had her sweet dreams. Someone that I loved. But it ended after a while when we grew apart.
And I met my finace. I courted her. She gave me the comfortable feeling. I don't have to do crazy things. My heart was not skipping and beating off beat. I am fond of her. And things just moved on like a cycle. Without knowing, 3 years passed and everyone was expecting us to get married. So we did. We just walked into the jewellery shop, got our wedding ring and everything just moved as planned. There was no proposal.
I was her first love. And I am her everything. If I were to leave her, her world would collapse. It's the end of everything to her. I can't do that to her. The last 3 years - it was her by my side and she will continue to be my side till we both shall live. We're getting married and I will be responsible.
1 week left to our wedding and I'm sitting in the pub alone thinking of someone else. She's returning the country soon, the last I heard. Walking down the marriage asile with someone I don't love as much, what will it make me? Is responsibility that important? What should I do? Oh screw it! I can't back up now. It's too late, right?
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