I'm still in pain

He courted me for 4 months. These 4 months spent together was beautiful. We went to fancy restaurants, romantic dates, flowers, gifts...we did all dating couples would do. I was in love with this man.

After dinner at our favorite restaurant to celebrate our 100th day anniversary, we went back to his place. It was going to our first night together. I could feel butterflies in my stomach when we walked up the stairs. Every step closer to his apartment, I got more and more nervous. He held my hand and smiled; giving me the assurance, i reckoned.

When we got to his apartment, he sat me down at the couch and went to the kitchen to get us drinks. Some alcohol would be good now. We started drinking and chatted about the plans for tomorrow. And it was at this moment, he kissed me. It was the longest and most passionate kiss I ever got. And I knew he wanted me. Soon, we ended up in his room, undressed and embracing every intimate moment we could have. It was mind-blowing night I had.

Next morning, we went out for breakfast and he told me he had to go Hong Kong for a business trip that night. I was surprised that he didn't mention anything before and I was already beginning to miss him. After breakfast, we split and that was the last I've seen him. For the next few days, i was waiting by my phone like some anxious little girl. I checked my email every 5 minutes, hoping to hear something from him soon. I was about to call him when I bumped into a friend who was his colleague, told me he did not leave town and that he wasn't bound for Hong Kong. I tried calling, texting and emailing him but I've got nothing...just nothing in return.

Weird thoughts ran through my head. I wondered what I did. I wondered whether was it because of that night. I wondered ... I went to his place and all that I had wondered came to a conclusion. A lady opened the door and when I asked for him, she said,"He's not home right now. I'm his wife. Can I help you?" I turned and ran away.

It's been 2 months since that day and I still remember everything. The way we hold each other. The way you laughed. The way you made me smile. I'm still in pain...

xo,
can't-get-over-him