following her footsteps

I tried not to follow your footsteps. I reminded myself again and again not to be like you. I didn't like what you did to Dad and I won't want to do it to him. But I realized history's gonna repeat and destiny is messing with me.

I met him 3 years ago. We fell in love and eventually got married. But I didn't want him like the way he wanted me. Or I felt uncomfortable with myself. I was not satisfied with my body. I just couldn't please him sexually.

After 3 years of no-sex married life, he started to change and he turned his back on me. He had an affair. But I pointed the finger at myself. I had to take the blame. I knew I couldn't give him what he wanted, so I let him be yet held on. I needed to salvage whatever I have destroyed. I couldn't just ruin everything.  There had to be a way.

So that night it happened, I compelled myself to be in sexually in love with him. I endured whatever I had to go through. I was glad that it happened. Because I’m pregnant with his child now. He can't leave me now...

Or will he still leave; just like what dad did to you?
And will the child be like me; becoming an instrument to fix my parents' marriage?