becoming fatal...

it started right but gradually it became fatal. even in hindsight, i won't deny what happened.

i never thought of that. i took it too lightly. it never come across to me that that could happen. i striped him layers by layers. he bore it all. i took what i want and left him naked, alone.

Things could have worked out if I wasn't that selfish. i blamed it on my upbringing. i blamed it on my self-defenses. The wall built over the years won't come crashing down easily. For so much you've given, all i did in return was nothing but physical satisfaction.

Yet, you know nothing about the betrayal, the other affairs that was committed. Gradually, you realized that i was lying. You took me by force that night. you wanted revenge. you wanted to payback. i just laid there and let you. when everything's over, i left the room with you naked and alone. i never turn back.

it's been some time. i thought you would have forgotten or got over it. but who am i lying when i say i wasn't afraid. the fire in your eye when i saw you again sent shivers down my spine.

i thought i didn't lose anything. i thought i have gotten what i want out of it.
i have lost. i am running away. i am afraid.